How to make sure we turn the gaslight off after we're done.

We've all got a very important next page to turn. Thankfully, in addition to this being important, it's one that will prove to be, literally... effortless.

Hi folks.

Just a message to all about the latest gaslighting technique to ignore.

By now many of us have either heard it personally or seen it through social media.

It comes from a certain unfortunately large portion of our national society right now. But let me at least qualify it by saying… “not every Trump voter.”

For as painful and frustrating as it may be, I still do acknowledge that there are those who, yes, even now, may have found themselves voting for Trump this past election and simply don't understand what they've done. Voters who are right now starting to express remorse and disillusionment. Voters who have no problem right now expressing this and simply have a sense of devastated and sheepish regret. Again, as frustrating as that may indeed be for those of us who wondered why they only realized it after it was too late, this think piece is not about them.

This think piece is, instead, about the Trump double-downers who you've probably heard echo the below sentiment, hence our collective horror in hearing them double down despite, and in many cases in light of all of the clear-eyed awareness of everything that Donald Trump has stood for, and thus have led us into making the sobering decision… to no longer have people like this who previously were a part of our lives… be allowed to continue being so:

"If you can't keep me in your life just because our political views don't align, that's your problem, and your moral failing. Not mine."

And so… here's the remedy… for that disingenuously morality-based framing of a challenge to our deeply held engagement’s deal-breaker:

Ignore it.

Don't argue their hypocrisy.

Don't argue their irrationality.

Ignore. It.

Ignore. Them.

And get about the business of keeping out those you've decided to keep out of your life… with no need to morally justify yourself to them against their absurd nonsensical gaslighting attempts at “ethical” supposed framings of “moral failings.”

You know why this is wrong.

I know why this is wrong.

The explanation as to why it's wrong has been stated so many times, so clearly, and with such incontrovertible moral soundness, that the notion that there is any needed further clarity at this point… is sheer absurdity.

And so…

I refuse… to explain it… anymore.

To anyone.

Because here's the thing:

It's not just you and I who know why this is wrong.

They… know why… this is wrong.

I refuse… to engage… in the gaslighting theater… of explaining this… anymore.

And so here's more about why, I submit, all of us should refuse to argue, and point out, and break down, and site hypocrisy of… anymore.

Because… forest for the trees, here… it's been extremely well-established that the approach to life those who've tried to assert this obviously self-aware manipulation tactic… have already shown all of us the degree to which they've embraced in this manner of, as well as other examples of, engaging the left… a brute-force insistence of their own will of supposedly being morally correct, especially when they deep down know (and because of knowing, never admitting)… that they're, with full manipulative-intent, thus, fairly reasonable self-awareness, wrong. And nevertheless committing and doubling down on their insistence of being, no pun intended, in the right… no… matter… what.

It's a technique that they've had cultivated within them through their subculture (emphasis on cult): Simply don't ever wait to feel right to get what you want, leverage, conclusions, whatever type of outcome it may be. Get what you want even when you know you're wrong. And just commit fully to pretending you know you're right no matter how much you may not at all be. And then… never yield. Never. Yield. Wait for them to break down, wait for their explanations that you continually deny, to stop being repeated by them, and for them to just give in to giving up because they didn't get the acknowledgment that they craved from you. Then belittle them as if your point was proven, and flaunt your righteousness, no matter how much you know you don't deserve it. Flaunt it as you continue to demoralize them. As you will never yield. Because that way… eventually… you… and never they… always get what you want. With the satisfying demoralization of other people through your posturing of superiority.

Secretly want a racist society where you can feel like you're part of the racial supremacy at the top of all others oppressed? Insist your morally in the right for doing so by framing it however disingenuously as ethical. And never yield. Never. Yield.

Want to not be held accountable for making such cruel, socially sadistic, racist, and morally bankrupt decisions that have the effect of destroying other people's lives, many of whom you now wish they would still embrace you after you voted to destroy them? Insist that they're not embracing you is about them not accepting difference and thus they're being hypocrites because they're the ones perpetrating intolerance and hate. Then go with that framing no matter how completely fallacious and unsubstantiated it is… and never yield. Never. Yield.

So… as they wait for us to start pointing out the flaws in their reasoning, they're ready to shoot us down and ready to belittle us as if they are morally superior no matter how completely insane it is for them to suggest so. They know it's insane. But as soon as we start explaining to them why it so clearly is… they'll immediately begin showing that they'll never yield. They'll never. Yield.

Explaining it to them won't illuminate things. Because… they already… understand. They just… don't… care… about the understanding. So, they're not waiting to hear the effective explanation from us. They're just rooting their next denial in yet another gaslighting technique. And doing so against any and every presented-to-them rationale by us… about which…

they just..

don't…

care.

They've, indeed, put all their heart into proving that they don't. And they've… succeeded. So, it's time for us to believe them now. It's time for us to acknowledge a job well-done on their part for having taught us that they just… don't… care… about any rationale we have to present to them no matter what morality nor hypocrisy we are very clearly founded in raising and presenting to them.

And even if deep down they do find themselves being moved, caring about something they hear us point out… they don't ever care to admit it. Not ever. Not. Ever. It brings them the deepest sense of mission accomplished.. to never… do so.

Thus… time… to start acknowledging, then duly, ignoring their denialism… what they've knowingly, proudly, enthusiastically committed to. And for any of them still eventually willing to accept the truth, at some point in the future, well… they'll choose to. On their own terms. Whenever they choose to. But not when we explain it. Not ever when we do.

Until then, they know why they should, but yet still won't.

So, we no longer have to fall into the trap of thinking we just need to explain it for them to understand.

Because… they already understand. And let's be honest with ourselves… they can't wait for us to try foster their supposedly in-need understanding within them by our trying to give them an explanation… so that they can then have the opportunity to demonstrate to us that it's not a lack of understanding on their part for what we're saying and explaining. It's simply a lack of caring, and a presence of desire to gaslight us when we give them the opportunity to do so by our… trying to explain. They can't wait to show us how little effect reason and ethics sway their will. They want to show us that nothing will sway it, not even the most egregious demonstration of atrocity displayed by those they've willfully decided to support. They love to show us how much awfulness they are willing to rationalize away… or pretend we're being weak for not supporting… or both. They crave the opportunity to show us the very unsinkable tenacity of their obstinence. And all they need us to do… is try to make a sound ethical case against their doing so. For us to try to explain it to them… yet again.

Then that's… their… cue.

Practically thanking us for giving them something to rebuke defiantly and without reason. Thanking us for taking the bate. Then seizing upon our having taken it by almost giddily showing us how their will… can't be broken, not even by moral imperative. Because that's how “strong” they've defined themselves to be. Ethically impervious to persuasion of embracing any ethical framing presented by us ever.

So… ignore them… until they own up to what they've done in exactly the way they already know how to do without us trying to explain it to them anymore. They may never own up as such.

But it's not because they don't know the answer as to why they should based on the ethical framework we have to present. They know the answer already. They're not waiting for us to explain the rationale.

So, if they ever do actually own up, it'll have nothing to do with the fact that we finally… explained something they didn't understand.

Because that's never been what it's about for them, as they already do understand. As much as they ever deliberately choose to allow themselves to (and probably a little more than that, despite how much they'll never admit so). Understanding what our argument is has never been the point for them. They satisfyingly find it hilarious that we think it has been. They love watching us trick ourselves into thinking, “Oh, I just haven't come up with a clear enough explanation, so let me try to explain again.” And they're practically chomping at the bit to show their denialism to us again, once we do start the next attempt at our explanation.

Because that's when they can once again show us the “strength” of their obstinence. The “strength” of their gaslighting. The “strength” of their deflection. And the “strength” of their known & no less daunted projection.

Every opportunity we take to try to explain, is every indulged opportunity they appreciate our doing so to show us how “strong” they are for rebuking it no matter what we say. That… is “strength” to them. To rebuke no matter what we say. The more we try to say, the more they get to show us that “strength.”

And because they’ve by now formed their entire identity around showing us this obstinence, and look forward to every opportunity to indulge their identity formed around this by waiting for us to try again… that's why they positively despise it… when we stop showing them we think we can explain things to them anymore. When we stop engaging them. Because, for the sake of their daily purpose in who they've defined themselves to be now… that's all they want us to do. Is convince ourselves that we can sway them against their lifelong commitment to obstinence against anything we say no matter what. And they're right. We don't have power over making them not be obstinate. No one in the world has power over making anybody not be obstinate. For us to think otherwise would be our arrogance.

So, we don't have to bother anymore letting them hook us back into the narcissistic fruitless explanation spiral with someone that doesn't actually lack the understanding, but merely lacks the will, humanity, and inclination… i.e. the “amount of fucks” to ever give us the satisfaction of acknowledging that they do understand what they, in fact… do… understand.

Time to ignore them until they own up to it, assuming they ever choose to. Ignore them until they find it within themselves… to care. If there's ever to be a way for them to do so, then that way… after everything that's already been explained… everything they know they have access to in the name of evidence, perspective, data, and the every single event that has led up to now… is the only way.

This is their job now. Their work. Not ours to do for them. Which they actually have no intention of letting us do anyway. And this has never been within any reality of us being able to force them otherwise.

All the information, all the explanations, all of the sound incontrovertible logic and moral imperative is there and always has been. And they know it has been. And they've just been refusing to acknowledge it. Because they have embraced the feeling that they think this refusal no matter what makes them… “strong.”

So basically what this means is...

however long they decide not to acknowledge these realities painting our surroundings which we all must now navigate...

as far as their own path towards acknowledging the true nature of our circumstances…

that particular ball... is truly...

in their court.

Not ours.

No need to let them trick us into thinking it's in ours. In fact, we no longer have to bother trying to be in their game anymore. This is their own game to play by themselves if they're so committed to doing so. And to whatever end they desire.

For, we… are going to be busy right now, and from here forward… with our own activities… and no longer with their game. We're now fully committed and putting our 100% redeployed energy into activities that actually allow for results. Not into people that deliberately live to thwart them (as such will always be another person's choice to do so. And as it truly never was ours to control to begin with).

We can now all acknowledge the truth: that impassioned explanations are designed for, and only worth sharing with.. people who actually want to understand, but they just don't know how to given the information/propaganda they've been restricted into receiving, and thus are waiting for someone to come along with the right explanation, the right access, the propaganda/manipulation-free perspective… to better help them understand… because they genuinely seek and want to. Those people are, indeed, out there. There are people on the fence who truly want to figure this out. Who truly have regrets. Who truly are just doing the best they can with the information they've had access to.

But as far as those who are now trying to falsely moralize our not wanting to be a part of the lives of people who support rapists, racists, Nazis, the destruction of families through concentration camps in deportation, inflaming division, destroying and killing women in medical circumstances… people who take that principle and say that ours, in doing so, is one of hatred… people who do this all in an effort to hide the hatred they, themselves, know they so love expressing, and just wish to project on another person so they can continue expressing that hatred… this… is not they who are trying to understand.. at all.

And they know it.

And we know it.

Thus, nor are our explanations for them. Anymore.

They are, instead, people who passionately don't want to understand, and exclusively want to know how to do nothing but rebuke us and bate us into thinking they actually do want to understand… only enough to get us to try to explain so they can indulge in the hedonistic pleasure of rebuking us again. With gaslighting. With projection. With deflection. With whatever. As long as they get to show us the “strength” of their obstinence. And show us the joy of their rebuking us, no matter what we say.

And this… all of this… is their choice. They have decided to make themselves officially… a waste of time to talk to. Their choice. They've committed their very lives to it. Their choice. They've shown the extent to which they have no interest in doing anything other than committing to it, no matter what moral imperative there may obviously be to, under no circumstances, accept and endorse what they've accepted and endorsed.

Their… choice.

So… what's… our choice?

People who support rapists, alone, at the very least deserve the silent treatment.

To receive it from us, we who find it morally repugnant to support rapists achieving power over all of us including their victims… to receive it from us until they stop… supporting them.

Much less, stop coming up with tiresome apologist rationales and doubling-down gaslighting for doing so. Just to indulge in their emotionally embraced lifetime commitment to the sport of… “owning the libs.”

So, no more explanations from us. Our choice. No more debates. Our choice. Until they actually shift away from all of this within themselves, and at their own choosing… the ball… is truly… in their court. And we're simply now stepping completely out of their game.

Our… choice.

This choice of ours… comes from something that’s called… being done.

So, let's get about the business of… being done with that, and get to the business at hand. We've other much more important work to pour our energy into, especially right now with the world we must face not entirely of our own making. But a world we must face through… our choice… in how to do so.

They've definitively chosen their path. It's time we accept that they've succeeded in teaching us what their choice is, no matter what. Leave them to whatever results their choice has brought them, rather than trying to make them choose differently. For, that… is simply not our choice to make. We have our own lives to live now. Our own choices to make. And ignoring theirs… is one of them.

Let's get to work, focus on our work, with ourselves, and with those who do want to understand but who've been led astray… and yet.. no longer focus on… the “obstinate them.”

It's time we let them go…

and definitively… now reserve and redeploy all of our energy…

for our choices.

End… of story. And… the beginning.